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Outdoorsman | Networking | SRE | Chaos & Platform Engineering | DevOps @toyotaracing | former @aws @splunk @verizon @gm | Thoughts are my own
Personal: Husband | GirldadX3 | BBQ | Outdoors | Nascar | Baseball | Triathlons
How to scale, modernize, and mature your observability practice
Part 1 of a 2 part series
A Guide for Software Architects
Introduction In the rapidly evolving world of software development, Continuous Integration (CI) and Continuous Deployment (CD) have become cornerstone practices that ensure software quality and agility. CI/CD pipelines serve as the backbone of modern...
Introduction In software development, documentation is the spinach of coding—vital yet often sidelined. It's the unsung hero, the nutrient-rich foundation that sustains projects and teams. Imagine each software project accompanied by a precise recipe...
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I was holding my third baby girl this morning and I can't help but reflect on the emotional rollercoaster that fatherhood has been. In a recent mental health checkup(taking inventory is a daily habit), I found myself inspired to share my experiences and insights on this subject. I realized that taking care of one's mental health as a new father is just as crucial as it is for new mothers, and that it's a topic that deserves more attention. So, I decided to put pen to paper and delve into the complexities of men's mental health during the postpartum period. I hope that by sharing my journey and the lessons I've learned along the way, I can help other new dads navigate the challenges and joys of parenthood while maintaining their mental well-being. One such challenge is postpartum depression (PPD), which, although often associated with new mothers, can also affect new fathers. This article will explore what postpartum depression is for new dads and offer strategies on how to avoid or manage this condition.
Postpartum depression is a mental health condition characterized by feelings of sadness, hopelessness, guilt, and a lack of interest in previously enjoyable activities. It can occur in new fathers due to hormonal changes, increased stress, sleep deprivation, and the pressures of parenthood. It is crucial to recognize the signs of PPD in new dads and seek help if necessary.
One of the most effective ways to avoid postpartum depression is to maintain open and honest communication with your partner, friends, and family. Sharing your feelings, concerns, and experiences can help alleviate stress and provide much-needed support during this challenging time. I do bro check-ins on my group chats and make sure to consistently talk to people when I feel squirrelly.
Having a strong support network is crucial for new fathers. Reach out to friends, family, and other new dads to create a support system where you can discuss your experiences and gain valuable advice. It's ok to ask questions, I had a million for my first, a few hundred k after my second, and about 10 after my third.
Taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being is essential in preventing postpartum depression. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, and engage in stress-reducing activities such as meditation, mindfulness, or deep breathing exercises. I have a chart of what a good day looks like and every day I try to have a good day.
Here are my top 5 Have a good day list +1 for fun:
Good sleep- Starts the night before
Good exercise- Tri Training and gym time is crucial
Good Conversation- I try to learn something about or from anyone
Good Food- Good food is important and I love combining 3-4, No phones at dinner
Good Sun- Every morning I like to go for a barefoot walk and feel the earth. Sounds weird but it's what helps me connect and get started.
Catch a fish- This is kind of an obsession for me and has been since I was about 8. I always live close to lakes and fish frequently. It's something that is not part of the top five but is always a cherry on top.
If you have multiple children, this will likely mean that you will be in charge and taking responsibilities that your wife has normally handled with the older kids. I make it a point to still have individual time with each kid and do what they are interested in. My oldest loves art so we do painting and crafting. With my middle, I take her outside fishing or hiking. She loves bugs. It's really important to spend individual time with each kid to build that bond.
Adjusting to parenthood can be difficult, and it's important to be realistic about your expectations during this time. Recognize that you may not be able to do everything perfectly and that it's okay to ask for help when needed. Try to have in-laws or close friends come help. My wife and I have a pretty good system and have setup schedules for different chores and work. Have a plan and execute
Work with your partner to share the responsibilities of caring for your new baby and maintaining your household. By dividing tasks and supporting one another, you can reduce stress and avoid feelings of being overwhelmed. I am an expert burper so after every feed I get to take control and let my wife have a little break. Try to find ways to help, it goes a long way in asking for time for yourself.
If you notice signs of postpartum depression, it's crucial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can help you develop coping strategies, provide support, and, if necessary, recommend medications to manage symptoms. Betterhelp.com is a great place to start. Therapy is a life hack that I highly recommend.
Postpartum depression in new fathers is a real and important concern. By understanding the risk factors and taking proactive steps to maintain your mental health, you can reduce the likelihood of experiencing PPD. Remember, it's essential to communicate openly, establish a support network, prioritize self-care, and seek professional help if needed. With the right support and resources, you can navigate the challenges of fatherhood and enjoy the rewarding experience of raising your child.
Can new fathers experience postpartum depression? Yes, new fathers can experience postpartum depression. Although it is more commonly associated with new mothers, approximately 10% of new dads are affected by this mental health condition.
What are the signs of postpartum depression in new fathers? Signs of postpartum depression in new fathers may include persistent sadness, feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, changes in sleep patterns, and withdrawal from social interactions.
What factors contribute to postpartum depression in new fathers? Factors that may contribute to postpartum depression in new fathers include hormonal changes, increased stress, sleep deprivation, and the pressures and challenges of parenthood.
How can new fathers prevent or manage postpartum depression? New fathers can prevent or manage postpartum depression by maintaining open communication, establishing a strong support network, prioritizing self-care, managing expectations, sharing responsibilities with their partners, and seeking professional help if needed.
When should a new father seek professional help for postpartum depression? A new father should seek professional help for postpartum depression if he notices signs such as persistent sadness, feelings of hopelessness, irritability, or difficulty concentrating, and these symptoms are affecting his daily life and ability to care for his child. Early intervention and treatment can significantly improve recovery outcomes.
